Well............... A long gap................A silence which in most probability went unnoticed.
That's what is strange about LIFE........................
"NOBODY IS INDISPENSIBLE"
Nobody is........

As human beings we are often so self centred. And when I say "Self Centred" I don't just mean You as a person, but everything concerning you.....be it the people you love and care for, your possessions, your friends, your career, your preferences................The Central thing is always YOU...
And in this love for yourself, you fail to seewhat is beyond. Your vision is limited to what you want to see. You are always a hero in your own eyes. You are always the one the world cannot sustain without. You are THE ONE.

And then someday when you cross the thin line between belief and reality...................it breaks you..............You see yourself as a mortal...................someone who is not invincible afterall......... And trust me..............It's hard to accept..............
But afterall, what are we all.........................Just a bunch of mortals...........

So the next time we think of ourselves as someone too important to be ignored by others, just remember what we are.....................Not The One...............But just a one............

Life is strange. What you want it will never give, and when you relaize that you will never get it and learn to live with it, you get it. And then when you re-teach yoursel to live with it. Life takes it back, when you least expect it.
This is not just a web of words (Okay I do agree to some extent that it is a poor web of words), it is what most, if not all, of us experience sometime or the other in life. The moment we think we are happy, the next moment we maybe 'orced' to cry ; the moment we think that we have won, the next moment we may 'lose'. There is a very thin line between ecstasy and dispair, and most of us are always hoppin' around that line. And the problem is that no matter how clear we keep our vison, the line gets dimmer and dimmer. Wonder how we can magnify this line ???

The unusual gap didn't mean that I would be silent for ever (Though I presume many would want so)These past few days have been emotionally exhausting. Be it one of the patients I had admitted dying post operative or seeing the cries of those who lost their loved ones in the Mumbai Blasts. There were so many disturbing scenes of the blast victims and their famililes on the media recently. Usually I am a great advocate of The Freedom of Speech and the importance of Media. But I shameully witnessed the coarse manner in which some members of the media dealt with it. These channels were just worried about their TRPs and everything was just a news for them. It is regretful.

Also as I was going through some of my previous posts (I know very few in number) I realised that they were too depressing. I didn't mean them to be that way (perhaps I don't write as good as some of my friends tell me I do)I have seen how beautiful life can be......... a boy who had bad contractures around his kne after he got burnt, got a chance to play footbll again after a reconstructive surgery.....that moment...the way his brothers and sisters left whatever they were doing, no matter how important, just to see him smile........ that was life at its best
Life can bring so much happiness and joy, but sadly it can also bring a few sorrows and tears. But that's the real beauty of life. It changes and changes, and when we think it can't change anymore, it changes again.Be it for good or worse, it is obvious that soon it will change again.So don't be too happy about your joys, nor be too sad for your sorrows.....after all they are just bubbles in time, soon to burst aay making space for some new one.

It sounded good (Atleast I hope so!)But then I wonder should we stop enjoying are joys and not crib about our sorrows................I know it will never happen.........We will always know that sorrows and joys are temporary, still we'll spend tears over our grieves and laughter over our glee.
So many things "Don't change" afterall...........

Is there rebirth?
Is there any afterlife?
Where did you get this body?
Where do you go when you leave your body?
What will happen when you go?

Whenever I think of any of these questions, all I feel is numbness, all I hear is a never ending beep, and all I see is darkness. I always struggle hard and the answers are always just a step away. But I have never been able to take that step.
I have heard of stories (and actually seen one in real life) of how a child starts doing weird things which are finally related to his previous life. How a child goes to totally strange place, recognizes people and speaks languages unheard of. I have also heard stories where a person is supposed to have died but comes back to lie because of mistaken identity. All this is fascinating, and makes interesting stories, But where lies the truth?

I have heard people say that the years in life don't matter, it is the life in the years that really matters. Sounds good. Gave me goosebumps when I heard it first. But how practical is it? Let me rephrase that.... How easy is it?...........Okay let me rephrase again.......How difficult is it?
I still remember a man in his early forties in the Surgery wards during my med school. He was suffering from a kind of stomach cancer and was 'Medically destined' to die by the Professors. He was to undergo a CT Scan of the abdomen and due to administrative faults and loopholes, his CT Scan appointment kept on being postponed. While the relatives, friends and acquaintances of the Professors and also other influential people got their CT Scans, for as minor as problem possible, done out of turn, this man, would wait in the ward laughing around with other patients and sometimes with me too.
In his eyes I could see just three things, one, the knowledge that he had a deadly disease, two,hope that all will be well, and three, fearlesness of death. I can't understand how a man could be so lively in such a condition. I never knew whather he got his CT Scans and Barium studies done, or whether he lived or died......But one thing I know is that he had conquered Death.
It could've been his courage, hope or even ignorance o the severity of disease............. But he had no fear......Even if he had any, it surely didn't show. And what is still more unbelievable is that seeing his fearlesness and optimism, so many other patients who came in contact with him, benefited.
I am sure if the disease has killed him, he still lives in the lives of all he came across.
He surely does in mine..........And will always reverberate my soul with his hearty laughter wishing me each time I entered the ward.
Maybe people are right........ Oh Yes, They are............It's the life in the years that really matters.

It seems as if Death himself was reading what I wrote yesterday. There was pain and tears all over, after the bus accident near Simla today. The official Death Toll they tell me is 18, but I am to believe that this is well beyond 30. A man in the same village, from where most casualities occured, was planning to give a retirement party today. He would have been so ecstatic and proud of being able to throw a grand party....... But before he could do anything this catastrophe (And mind......not natural, but manmade to a large extent) fell upon the village. Now he probably sits in solitude thinking about what he planned and what happened. Then there was a man who had boarded the bus just a minute before it rolled down into the gorge. He boarded not a bus........but his Death.
No matter how much explanations and technical committees are now set up for the accident. The damage has already been done. No amount of compensatory money can replace the loss. The damage is irrepairable.
Was it the drivers fault? Was he driving too fast while overtakin when the bus rolled down? Are the people sitting on the rooftop of the bus are to be blamed for causing the imbalance leading to the accident.
Maybe the people were too much in a hurry and could not have waited for another bus................... Is then the System to be blamed for not operating enough buses to ply on that road ????
The questions will be multiple, and so will be the speculations. But now probably nothing matters. Life has been lost. Not one, but many. The best thing we can do is Pray to the Lord to give the departed souls peace, their families courage to tide over this troubled time and most of all to the rest of us the wisdom and knowledge to respect Life as we live and enjoy it.

I have seen Life and I have seen Death....................and the more I see Death, the more i realize how beautiful Life is.
It is unbelievable how most of the mankind fails to realize how lucky they are to be alive. Each day when we read a Newspaper or see a News Channel (Though I must say that the number of News Channels have grown and their quality proportionally gone down), we come across umpteen cases of either people ending their lives or someone's life being put to an end due to someone's mistake. Life is slowly losing it's meaning.
I know that poeple committing suicide must have a very strong and seemingly valid reason to end their life, but i fail to understand any of their reasons and justifications each time I see a patient die in the wards with that look in his eye, saying just one thing to me............'Save me...........I don't wanna die'
Each time I hear the wails of relatives seeing their loved ones go, and each time I see that fear of unknown and that invisible tear in the eyes of children of the person expired or the unbelieving eyes of the father......... I cry too.
The feeling of helplesness is excruciating. And nothing is worse than this.
And then next morning when I read a Newspaper, I read that a Lover committed suicide jus beacuse some arrogant and orthodox villagers won't allow him to continue with his marriage with a woman from another caste..... I cry more. Poeple, with their egotistical and stubborn notions and beliefs, want to decide everything on their own, forgetting how each life and each of the circumstances is unique in itself. They waste life........... both theirs and others'.
We ought to start realizing how fortunate we are to be healthy and alive. And we have to learn to respect that.
Here is a beautiful poem by Charlotte Bronte

Life

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.

Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily,Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,Enjoy them as they fly !
What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?

Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !


Life is beautiul.......... believe me, coz I have seen what is not. So look at it with respect, not just yours, but other's too.....
God Bless you all.